Sunday, June 16, 2013

The Presence of a Father

Today is Father's Day. For most of my life, this holiday was very uncomfortable to me.  I was a bit sad that I didn't have a dad to celebrate.  However, as children, we celebrated my mother on Mother's Day & Father's Day. She definitely deserved an extra holiday. As a single mom, she raised three kids on her own. As a mother of 3 myself, I can only imagine how difficult it was without the presence of a father. Witnessing how hard she worked to be both a mother & a father made me even more grateful to my children's father for the man that he is.
Jax & Pop Spring 2008

When I met my husband, I was a single mom. Jax had just turned 4 years old. One of the few perks of being a single mom is that you get to see a glimpse of a father before choosing to spend your life with him. My husband, a modest & reserved man, was kind and loving with my son.  He was a natural. Bike rides, hikes, reading a story at bedtime--Jax didn't even have to ask.  I was able to get to know him better and witness his character in the way that he treated my child--now our child.  This is one of the many reasons I love him!

Fast forward five years and add two children.  This daddy is knee-deep in the craziness of parenting. Suiting up to take on sleepless nights, sick children, teething babies, toddler tantrums, hard questions and all of the difficult parts of parenting is where he shines. These are the battles that separate the men from the boys.

Daddy staying overnight with Eden hospitalized with flu

Like most men, he enjoys the challenge in his work. One of the tragedies that he sees in his profession is the absence of a father.  We both know how that feels & how difficult it is for a child to grow up without what Freud deemed childhood's strongest need--"the need for a father's protection." I value his awareness of this need and the way that he exemplifies it in our family & his commitment to serve and protect in his profession.

The need for good fathers in our society is evident.  In my life, the presence of a good father is one of life's sweetest blessing.  For a girl who grew up without a father, I treasure my husband's existence, I lift him up in his parenting--even if it's not like mine.  I praise him for the ordinary--because even if it's something regular fathers do, it is extraordinary to me.

Because my husband is a great father, I can be a good mother.  While we each have roles that we take on in our family, he shares the responsibility of parenting equally.  It's beautiful watching him teach and lead our children.  He gives wise instruction and models servanthood.  He doesn't take his responsibility as the leader of our family lightly.

His work ethic is admirable--never complaining when he is called in early or his schedule changes with little notice.  He steps up to the plate.  At home, he often survives on little sleep so that he doesn't miss out on precious time with his family & can help out when I need him.  While he's a terrific father--he's not perfect...

He likes to talk politics with our son and watch silly parodies and other ridiculous videos on youtube, when he knows that it drives me crazy. He encourages the kids to tease me and act silly and...

I sometimes find him laying down on the job & he is easily convinced to giving in and letting daddy's little girl get what she wants...

And sometimes he struggles with sharing our son (every other weekend) because he misses Jax being away.  (I can relate.)  He understands that having a blended family is hard--and not ideal--but that doesn't stop him from loving all of our children equally and fully.

He is the best father for our family & we love him, faults and all.  

Happy Father's Day to my husband and all of the fathers out there who are present, imperfect parents.  Father's make an impact on their children (and can change the world).

1 comment:

  1. With tears I just wanna say how proud I am of your precious family.. truly God has blessed you care bear. What the locusts have eaten away our God will continue to restore. Well done Montague..keep seeking His highest as you lead, may Jesus supply all you need according to His richness & glory. Love you brother! Happy father's day :)