It took nearly six months for me to be "okay" at being a homemaker. For my friends who know me well, I do not do well if I am doing okay. I strive for excellence--and I'm not naturally an excellent homemaker. It's been humbling and wonderful at the same time.
Yes, I tossed my "mommy metrics" off the fridge after the first month. Nobody came into my weekly "meeting" and said, gift card for the person who can tolerate the stinkiest diaper or a bonus for whoever sells the most coupon books --aka buys the most coupon books because 1/2 of my "pledges" disappeared after the books were in hand--BUT I now have ten 20% off coupons for Learning Express. BOOM. Who says you don't get a prize…Anyhow. I don't want to continue to whine about lack of recognition, mommy voice-itis, inability to walk in heels, funky kid-smell in lieu of my nice perfume (that I can no longer afford)… blah blah blah. Those were just SOME of the sin-toms I was wallowing in.
Then, I put my big girl panties on and got out of the stinkin' house (literally, yoga pants>jeans. Bought some poo-pouri and never looked back). I met up with other mamas, went to the store and got stuff we needed without having a melt-down or leaving a kid behind (irrational fears--I never felt this when I was working outside of the home). I asked for help from mamas that knew what they were doing (even though most of them said they didn't know what they were doing and told me to hang in there--love me some honest, encouraging ladies!)
I even uttered the words "homemaker" and stay at home mom when asked "what I do" without feeling all sorts of weird emotions. Okay, so I still feel a myriad of emotions. Even as it is coming to an end…
Not because I feel like being a stay at home mom or homemaker isn't a worthy calling/career/job/role/season, etc. I think that it is among the most significant ways one can serve God and illustrate true love and sacrifice for their children. I have always thought that, but I KNOW that now. While it is often a thankless job, it is by FAR the most rewarding experience of my life. I am sad to think that these days are coming to an end.
But I cannot be sad for long, I am eternally grateful for the morning cuddles, before-school chatter, yummy breakfasts, lingering fuzzy little head on my shoulder-still limp and quiet as he takes his time waking up. I will cherish the persistence of a little girl begging for another glass of milk. I will recognize what little, growing voices are saying when no one else around knows the shun really means fun! and honey-jelly is a PB&J or a PB & Honey sandwich, depending on where we're at.
I will remember that sometimes excellence can found where inner strength lets go and concern for others stretches you to do supernatural, yet humiliating things in order to make someone else's heart dance.
I will remember that a clean house is often the product of a mommy who stays up late, but doesn't touch the kitchen 'til their little fuzzy heads hit the pillow again. Because a routine means unsupervised "helpers" will make big "discoveries" and insist that they be "on display" in various places so that you can't miss their tireless efforts.
I will slow down in the mornings, and speed up as I leave my job, so that I can make the most of every moment I have with the little blessings that God has allowed me to train up, teach and serve. I am so very grateful for my time at home & will strive to make the most out of the next few weeks as well.