Friday, June 21, 2013

If You're Happy and You Know it

I just wrapped up week 3 of my new journey--whatever it may have morphed into.  For some time now, I have contemplated the way that my path has unraveled and sought advice on how to proceed.  I felt unhappy with where I was going, but unsure about the next steps.   With more uncertainty than surety, I was frustrated & felt like I was getting no where toward the big goals that I had worked so hard to take a stab at.

Fast forward almost a year, and here I am with my unperfected elevator speech about what I "do" and days filled with organizing and unpacking boxes from our move last August, cleaning up endless messes, stretching my shoestring budget and spending time refereeing.  But, I can honestly say, I have never been happier.

There's something so beautiful about this time.  So perfectly imperfect.  I am so very content.

But then, there are kind friends who are well intentioned who ask if I am glad that I am now a stay at home mom.  The answer is that I'm not sure.  This time "doing nothing" but investing in my kids is a wonderful and busy time, but financially, I need to pay off student loans and other debt that we have.  I also want to be smart about saving for retirement & investing so that my children aren't saddled with my expenses.  Others who have been excited to ask when I will launch a business.  Again, not sure.  I have thought about it often and researched and prayed.  But I don't want to jump into a 100 hour week to make it happen.  I can't.  My kids are too important.

I don't mind these questions, keep asking.  They keep me thinking.

But for now, I am happy and I know it, and it's a part of my journey that I am not eager to skip past.  I look forward to a Saturday of clapping my hands and loving on some stomping little feet.


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